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Chase Spruiell

survival

 

there is not always

a good reason to break

an old habit

 

the easy way out 

is sometimes the

only way out

 

at 3:14am

the night crawls

the fan blows

the whiskey

 

there are symptoms

of fear that

must be hidden

buried or

forgotten

 

a man can only

survive the

moment

 

take what the 

whiskey will give you;

relish it

let it have you

 

when your old habits

kill you,

you’ll remember

that you were supposed 

to die anyway

Denham Springs

 

There’s a hotel in Denham Springs, 

           Louisiana,

where I redefined my prison-fed idea 

           of home.

I funneled my thoughts into the universe of

           open space,

and focus became the freedom in 

           my step.

There was no more gazing into silence with nothing 

           on my tongue;

No more anchors of fear.

I sank into a strangers bed, 

           and I counted my blessings,

while I dreamed there was no better 

           place to be.

wandering things

 

I flatten out the

bed sheets 

and I disregard

the crumbs

 

I should break

my habit of

eating in bed, 

but I am no longer

afraid of the

roaches

 

I understand that

they must

eat, too

 

like all

wandering

things

KNOT MAGAZINE

Chase Spruiell was born in Denton, Texas. He spent the majority of his life playing basketball throughout high school and college. He has a bachelor's degree in Digital Cinema and currently resides in Austin, Texas where he writes and plays music with his band, Free Kittens & Bread.

57

 

when I’m 57

I’ll think,

 

all those years

I spent

getting here,

 

all those steps

I took

getting here,

 

all of the awkward,

unnecessary conversation

that took me

nowhere,

 

all of the failed

jobs and hobbies,

the failed relationships,

 

every dehydrated 

morning and

every self-loathed 

night,

 

all of the 

overpaid landlords,

every bill 

paid late,

 

all of the

redos retries

reboots and

all of the times instability 

led to a forced fresh start,

 

all of that

young pain

behind me and

 

I’ll think,

I’ve been waiting

a long time